Q: I've been going out with a guy who's never had sex before with a man and is more than a lime a a lime apprehensive. We're really into each other, but to tell you the truth I'm a little nervous myself at the thought of initiating a virgin. I just want to make sure to handle things right. Do you have any advice for me?
A: There's a special responsibility in being someone's "first." I don't know about you, but I still remember my very first time - and let me just say I was a nervous wreck. Since you already know that your fella is anxious, see if you can tease out what's on his mind. Often a first timer's main concern is that he'll do something "wrong." If you can help your new lover realize that it's not about technical performance but rather emotional connection, you'll both benefit. Also, let him know that he can determine the pace. Still, there will likely be some teachable moments as he tries new things on for size. I wouldn't make corrections or suggestions in the heat of the moment, but instead maybe chat a bit later on if you feel the need. One last thing: Be sure to lead by example when it comes to the topic of safer sex.
[Author Affiliation]
Steven Petrow is a regular contributor to 365gay. com, GayWeddings.com and the author of the "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Manners''' ' (www.gaymanners.com). Send him your questions: ask@gaymanners.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment